Hiding

Over the years as I’ve journeyed through depression and anxiety, I wish I have had more friends along the way who knew exactly what I was talking about. Jen does. This is a great example of someone wrestling with coming out from under the cloud. Give it a read.

A Crazy Beautiful Life

I’m diving deeper. It is so, so hard.

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I sat with the hope-speaking counselor today and spoke things I’ve never spoken before. It shocked me. I have spent years burying those thoughts. I did such a good job, in fact, it startled me I could even say them out loud.

For 20 years I have been running from desire. My home taught me feelings are optional. They don’t change the facts. A logical decision is always the right one. Well-intentioned mentors instilled in me the danger of desire. The heart can’t be trusted.

So I got really, really good at ignoring desire. It worked great until the hurt became too much. Disappointment overwhelmed me. I moved from not acknowledging to outright numbing.

Just in case you’re wondering, depression is a great game of numbing. Numbing the bad sounds appealing until you realize it sucks the joy too.

Part of my healing lies in tackling this beast…

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One thought on “Hiding

  1. Thanks for the repost Mick. And for the words of encouragement. Isn’t it crazy how restoration really is what we want and yet hiding feels so much safer? I have to choose every day what is better.

    Like

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